One of my favourite older films, Field of Dreams (1989, for those curious about what I mean by "older"), has a quote that has always resonated with me: "If you build it, they will come." If you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it—it's a powerful story about trusting your inner voice and intuition, even when others doubt you.
For many years, I didn't quite understand why this quote stuck with me. Its meaning has changed as I’ve grown, but now I think I finally understand what it represents—or at least what it means to me.
I never really felt like I belonged to a specific peer group in school. Searching for a sense of belonging, I forged my path, believing I needed to achieve something impressive to be truly valued or seen. At that age, you start to notice how people often respect others based on what they do, rather than who they are. It's interesting how this mindset seeps into the rest of life.
“If you build it”—something deemed cool, exciting, or fun—“they will come.” This is a mentality many young people adopt when trying to fit in. The competitive environments we grow up in often make us feel like we have to outdo each other to be noticed or appreciated. As you grow up, you realise this isn't necessarily true.
It took me a while to break free from this mindset and recognise that the only real competition is with myself—striving to be a better version of who I was yesterday.
Now, the quote has evolved from representing something external to something deeply internal.
Will Smith—controversial to quote, I know—explores a similar idea in his book Will. He talks about the importance of prioritising his well-being first, in order to be a better father, friend, and husband. To radiate positivity and love, he needed to feel those things within himself.
Many of us focus on shaping our external selves, believing that if we look like we have it all together, the world will believe it too. But no matter how hard you try to build a strong external image, people will sense it if you don’t genuinely feel it internally.
Those external walls eventually crumble when the inner foundations are exposed. This realisation shifted my understanding of the quote. If I build a version of myself that I genuinely love and am proud of, nothing can easily knock me down. External pressures and opinions will matter less, and knowing who I want to be will guide my growth.
“If you build it, they will come”—if you build yourself into a proactive person who is at peace with who you are, you open the door to a happier, more consistent, and unique life, one that isn't influenced by external opinions and pressures, but is instead focused on personal growth.
People are naturally drawn to those who aren't lost, who have their own style, and who exude confidence without arrogance. If you build yourself up to be someone like this, people will be drawn to you like a magnet.
I am Will Flindall, host of the Valley of Outlaws Podcast where I speak to those who have decided to take control of their life and follow a passion or instinct.
If you feel like you could be getting more from your life, then maybe one of the conversations I’ve had with the Outlaws might help you kickstart a change.
Peace x
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