Communication is a cornerstone of success. The quality of your interactions with others determines how much they will trust you and, ultimately, how far you can go. Yet to excel as a communicator, you must first master the art of listening.
Ten years ago, listening was far from my strong suit. I could have conversations with others, but I rarely did I understood them fully—mostly because I wasn’t giving them my undivided attention.
As I’ve grown and shifted my mindset, I’ve come to realise that truly listening to others is critical for helping them feel comfortable around me and with themselves. When you listen attentively, show genuine understanding, and respond with empathy, you build a solid foundation of trust.
We all know individuals who are so absorbed in their own thoughts that they barely connect with anyone else. They stand out like a sore thumb, and we don’t expect much from them because they’ve never indicated any real desire to give back. Contrast this with someone who genuinely listens: they show respect, facilitate deeper conversations, and foster meaningful relationships.
It’s no wonder that truly great communicators are rare—and memorable—when you encounter them.
In this day and age, being able to listen and form a genuine connection often feels more elusive than ever, which is surprising considering that humans are inherently social beings. We thrive on communication and collaboration, yet many of us struggle to fully engage in meaningful dialogues.
When you do meet someone who excels in this area, you feel instantly seen and drawn to their presence—an experience that underlines the immense value of mastering authentic communication.
However, there’s another aspect of listening that goes beyond our interactions with others: listening to ourselves. This is one of the most overlooked skills in modern society—and one I’ve written about extensively. We often concentrate on improving our external communication, whether it’s with colleagues, friends, or loved ones, but neglect the internal dialogue that shapes our decisions and sense of wellbeing.
Far too many people are disconnected from their intuition or inner voice. If you ask, “What does your gut tell you?” they may struggle to respond—not because they lack opinions, but because they’ve never learnt to recognise or trust those subtle signals. In our fast-paced world, the demands of daily life can easily drown out those quieter instincts. Even when a hunch or intuition bubbles up, it may be hard to process or express amid constant distractions.
Interestingly, those who have honed the ability to listen to their inner voice tend to appear more self-assured and relaxed. Interacting with someone who trusts their instincts can be just as impactful as encountering someone gifted at outward communication. In both cases, you sense their clarity, poise, and alignment with what truly matters to them.
This inner guidance can be incredibly valuable. By taking the time to pause, reflect, and genuinely tune in to your own instincts, you can reach decisions that align with your personal values and goals. You might wonder, “How do I get better at this? How do I learn to hear my intuition more clearly?”
The best place to start is by creating space—allowing yourself the mental room to process what’s going on around you. Let ideas and insights percolate so you can understand them more deeply.
Find moments of stillness, whether it’s through journalling, meditation, or simply switching off your phone and heading outside for a walk. These pockets of calm help you recognise your own thoughts and feelings in a more focused way.
Over time, learning to interpret and honour your gut feelings can bring about greater self-awareness, emotional resilience, and a profound sense of fulfilment. Ultimately, the art of listening—both to others and to yourself—is transformative, influencing not only your relationships but every aspect of your personal and professional life.
I am Will Flindall, host of the Valley of Outlaws Podcast where I speak to those who have decided to take control of their life and follow a passion or instinct.
If you feel like you could be getting more from your life, then maybe one of the conversations I’ve had with the Outlaws might help you kickstart a change.
Peace x
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